Being a parent, we all get bombarded with a lot of feelings and situations everyday. Some days it may seem like too much when you have had enough of crying and screaming. I get it right! I am a parent of two super expressive and active toddlers and my day is like a roller coaster ride and i say “stop crying” multiple times a day! So I can relate if you are in a same situation. Specially when we have vacations, and both kids are at home, I deal with tantrums every single minute of my day! That’s crazy tiring, but I have to do that.
I also get frustrated when my kids just wouldn’t stop crying and when no other option work except yelling, “Stop crying” or,
“stop this voice right now”
“don’t be a silly kid”
“see everyone is watching us”
“don’t embarrass me”
But you know what, everytime you tell your kid to stop crying, you are actually making it difficult for yourself as well as for your kid. Does “stop crying” work? Maximun times it doesn’t! So why don’t we change the way we treat our kids when they are feeling overwhelmed with feelings and cannot find a way to express them, so they just cry and cry and cry!
Crying is absolutely normal and it’s healthy for kids. By saying, “stop crying” we dismiss their feelings and don’t give them the love and empathy they actually need from us.
So checkout these 5 simple things you could say when your kid is crying;
- Its okay that you are crying and sad and I understand this.
- Could you tell me more about why you are crying?
- Tell me what made you cry and we will fix it together. I am with you, lets discuss the problem.
- This is so upsetting and I am also upset just like you, we are together in this.
- I am listening to you just tell me what happened and hug me tight.
If your words don’t work, don’t forget that your physical presence and love could do wonders. Just be there and don’t punish your kid for crying. And don’t distract them because they should learn how to control their feelings. Kids are quick learners. So when you teach them to figure out how to deal with their emotions, they deal with them in a better way next time. Next time when you kid is crying, just try to use the above phrases and see the difference. But just remember that every kid is different and if something works for one kid, it might not work for another one. Just try and try and try!
Lots of love,
Saima also known as A Supertired Mom