If you are here, because you wanted to feel good, let me give you a very warm
I know losing a child is a nightmare and the feeling is suffocating, soul breaking, heart shattering and devastating and I wish there is a word that can describe it but there isn’t! But I know how you feel! I have been through this pain and I know that your heart is broken.
But u know what, I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could make you feel good, I wish I could place that small baby in your arms again and I wish you could watch the baby grow. But all those giggles, all those kisses and bear hugs are no more. They are gone!
I also know you miss that baby terribly and you just want to smell their sweet scent once more.. Just one time and see their little bright face.. Kiss that cute soft cheeks and keep that moment in your heart forever. Nothing can replace that touch.. Any video.. Any photo,, any memory can never replace the feeling of that touch that you want.. Just one more time! But this isn’t possible.
But my dear strong mama! You are braver than you think and stronger than you imagine. You should know this that its okay to grieve and feel heartbroken. You haven’t lost your child. You have lost your heartbeat.
There will be days when pulling yourself would be impossible and things won’t work the way they should. Its okay to burst in tears from the guilt and pain that you have kept inside your heart. Cry it out loud. You don’t need to hide the pain. You don’t have to fake the happiness. Please don’t do this!
Its okay to let yourself feel the shattering pain and killing guilt. And when people tell you to move on or try to heal, trust me they don’t know that you cannot heal from the grief of a lost child ever.
Healing from loss of a child is not like healing injuries or bones. They take our hearts with them and when your heart is gone, everything is gone. Because the mother’s love is not like the other kinds of love in the entire world. I see it and I know its powerful enough to overcome the pain and a river of tears.
I am sorry you are here, reading this with tears in your eyes and pain in your heart.. I just want to tell you that you are loved and trust me where there is a pain, there is even bigger love.
Sending you a big big hug mama.
Just a mama who knows how you must be feeling!
A Supertired Mom