How many times have you forced your kids to hug somebody? Or let anybody kiss them? Even if your kid isn’t willing to do that, you force them. In fact, we all force them for one last hug or one last kiss.
Is that right?
What do you think?
It has happened a hundred times with me and my kids too. You know mostly in our culture, we take hugging, kissing, tickling and getting physically close so lightly that we often forget about the consequences. You are having guests over, your kids are shy but you force them to sit near them or let them hug and often allow tickling too. Just for the sake of pleasure on behalf of your guests. I am not saying anything about your siblings, your relatives, your in-laws, your parents or anybody. The thing that I am trying to say is NEVER FORCE YOUR KIDS TO HUG SOMEBODY IF THEY DON’T WANT TO!
I know it becomes awkward and guests may feel bad but trust me, this is not important than how your kid feels. Is your kid important or the guests who don’t even understand that? I do that all the time. But I was not like that from the start.
Yes, I have to say I have forced my kids several times to give their relatives a hug or a kiss and I know all of you may have done that many times. But I was reading an article last year and I realized how wrong I was and I shouldn’t be doing that. So I changed my thinking and since that time, I have not asked my kids to forcefully hug anybody. I feel proud when my kids speak up for themselves and take stand for things they don’t like. It takes a lot of courage you know to say something that others won’t like.
But you know the reason behind this?
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- DEAR STAY AT HOME MOM-IT’S OKAY TO SAY YOU ARE NOT OKAY!
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Because THEY ARE THE BOSSES OF THEIR BODIES. I want my kids to know that they are allowed to speak up and protect themselves from things that make them feel bad or nervous. We are living in an age where news like a 3 years old raped and murdered are so common that we think it’s okay until it happens to somebody we know or someone we love.
I would never tell my kids to go and hug somebody just because somebody else wants that. I will ask my kid if he wants to hug? If he won’t, I won’t force him. And you should encourage this too. I have boys but I can imagine the situations with little girls. I have read the pathetic stories where little girls have been assaulted just because they were forced to sit on somebody’s lap.
Even I remember one of my friends told me one of her relatives tried to touch her because her mother asked her to go and hug that pathetic guest. Would you want to do that with your kid? Do you know what’s going on in the minds of your relatives or close family members who visit you often? Kids are not even safe in front of their Quran teachers, their uncles, and cousins. Then what we can do being mothers?
We can encourage our kids to say NO when they need to say NO and don’t hesitate. This works in a lot of other ways too. When my boys are gonna grow up, they will go out and there will be girls out there. They should understand that they cannot touch any girl just because they want to touch. If a girl says NO, that means NO and there is no hidden answer.
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- PLEASE DON’T TOUCH MY BABY-FIND OUT WHY?
We teach our kids not to touch the stove because it’s hot and they may burn their hands. We teach our kids not to open the door of the car when it’s moving as they may fall down and get hurt. But why don’t we teach our kids that they have full right over their body and they should be careful about that too?
I know not everyone will think the way I think and will not agree to what I say but this is what I am doing with my kids and I am satisfied that I am raising kids who know how to stand up for themselves. I am raising boys who will inshaAllah know that if a girl says no, they won’t have any right over her body ever.
We all are not with our kids 24/7 as we send our kids to school, working women leave their kids at home with their relatives or maids and that means we won’t be watching our kids all day. But we can make sure our kids are strong enough to handle such uncomfortable situations.
If you agree, I am glad we are on the same page. And if you don’t agree, I would request you to think about it one more time. 🙂
Just A Supertired Mom who loves her kids. Subscribe if you want to be in our mom squad and get updates right in your inbox