Do you remember the time you delivered the baby? The time when you became mom for the first time? Do you remember those overwhelming moments filled with love and gratefulness? If you ask me, I remember each and every detail of the time when I became a mom for the first time. At that moment, I never realized I could ever be angry with this cute little baby. I know millions of moms out there feel that way and trust me, this is normal!
Unfortunately, people don’t allow moms to feel bad, to feel angry and sad. You are blessed to have kids, right? So you don’t have any right to be angry. But the reality is, moms, do get angry! They carry around frustration, stress, postnatal depression, guilt, and a lot more feelings.
Just recall the time before your kids and compare the differences you feel. You were a happy and all time smiling girl but now you are an angry woman who gets up in a bad mood and goes to bad with a guilt and sadness in her heart. If you feel this way, let me tell you that its okay to feel this way and I have been through this, I have felt this too!
I don’t want you to be an angry mom so we can do something to change it, right? Do you know a lot of moms struggle with this same situation but everyone put on the best face in the public? Every happy mom may have a hidden story going on she may not tell you. So don’t expect perfection when you are a mother. All mothers are imperfectly perfect.
Find out why you are angry?
There would be a lot of things that may be bothering you.
A long line at the bank or a crowd while dropping kids off school may annoy you and ruin your mood for the entire day. A wrongly brewed coffee maybe the reason. Your health, your kid’s health or any close friend going through some difficult time may also make you sad and frustrated. Kids are not behaving well and you get ashamed of their behavior while outside in a restaurant could be another reason.
It could be anything that may trigger the anger in your mind. Accept it that we all have our pet peeves and weak moments. But what can you do about it? Yes, this is the interesting part.
How to deal with this?
I wish there was a simple way or a button to click but sadly this isn’t possible. It will take time but don’t worry, you can overcome this. You can stop being an angry mom and be a happy mom instead. But the first step towards being happy is to accept that you are actually an angry mom and you need to be happy. Ask yourself;
Do you want to be angry?
Do you want to change yourself?
Do you want to be a happy mom instead?
Before answering these questions, let me tell you that being angry has huge impacts on little minds of kids. By being angry and unhappy all the time, not only you are suffering, but you are also affecting your kids in a very wrong way. So let’s get to the next step.
Find out your anger triggers.
This is one of the most important steps towards happiness. You should be able to find the reasons WHY you get angry and WHAT circumstances make you angry and helpless. Few of these triggers maybe;
Feeling tired and no house help?
Feeling alone or missing the intimacy?
Not getting enough time to sit down and eat properly?
Worried about something else in life like finances or relationships?
Not feeling well and have some health problem?
So these are the most common triggers that may make moms angry. Do you think any of these have any role to play in your anger? Recognizing your anger triggers can help you in taking care of your anger next time you feel helpless like this.
To deal with these triggers and to avoid such situations, here are few practical tips you can follow;
1.Put yourself first
Whether its taking care of yourself or having rest or visiting a salon, make sure you are not neglecting yourself. Seriously I mean this that you have to take care of yourself because nobody else will. Self care is important but sadly there isn’t much talk about it. Motherhood means taking care of tiny humans and your home and your husband and to do all this, you need energy and stamina. Not only physically, but also emotionally. So take care of yourself dear mom so that you could be able to do it all with strength.
2. Always always plan ahead of time
Doesn’t matter if it is a trip planning or kids school outfits planning or grocery, plan ahead so that you know what you are going to do next week or next month. If you have to meet some friends, see somebody, visit school, go shopping, plan this all and write it down.
3.Live in the moment
I have learned in this motherhood journey of almost 6 years that always worrying about something unseen will always make you sad and angry. Why don’t we moms live in the moment? For example, if you took your kids to the park, stop worrying about what you are gonna cook for dinner when you go back home. This is how planning ahead works. You should plan things like that so that you can enjoy the moments.
4.Find your tribe
Motherhood makes you feel lonely, that’s true! But finding a right tribe will make you feel too good. I have so many mom friends who don’t meet me often but we keep in touch on mobile phones and online. It feels so good knowing that somebody else feels the same way and understands what you think.
You don’t have to be an angry mom anymore
I know you love your kids more than anything else in this world. So you don’t have to be an angry mom for them. Not for anybody! If you were angry last night, don’t be anymore. Find your triggers, and solve them. Find ways to deal with them. Write it down and focus on being a happy mom. Today is the new day, and yesterday is gone! Being angry does not define your love for your family.
I hope this blog post may help you in understanding the reason behind your mom anger. Difficult times come but they don’t define you as a mother. Have an awesome day mama.
Thank you for reading this till end.
Lots of Love,
A Supertired Mom