Happy Ramadan Kareem!

Alhamdulillah for having another Ramadan kareem 🙂  

Every year, I set new goals for Ramadan Kareem and sometimes I fulfill them, sometimes I don’t. Being a mother of two preschoolers and living away from family means more chores, more work, and more responsibilities. I also want to make more time for ibadat, for zikr so that I can make most of this blessed month.  

But from grocery to cooking, and from cleaning the house to taking care of kids, working alone shouldn’t be an option. We, women need our husbands to understand that these challenges are for both of us when you are fasting during Ramadan kareem.

During fasting, when you are already low on energy and hungry, women need helping hands. If you have house help, that’s great. But if you haven’t, like me, and not even a family member to help share the burden, husbands are the only help we all have. This year, when we are living the Ramadan in 2020, and everything is shut down and locked down, helping each other should be the first thing to do.

But sadly, most of the men in our homes don’t help their women. That’s how they are brought up.

Men don’t help! Men have to earn! They are the kings of the house and bla bla bla.. That’s sad!

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So, i am here to share that they should help and if they don’t, then how can you ask them to help you especially during Ramadan Kareem.

Aisha radi allahu anhu, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu aleihi wassalam was asked,

“What did the Prophet peace upon him use to do in his house?”  

She replied,

“He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari) 

So that means, Mohammad SAW used to help in his home so why not our husbands. Here are a few ways to encourage your husbands to help you during Ramadan Kareem.

Plan and discuss everything for Ramadan Kareem

Before Ramadan, make sure you arrange a small family meeting including your kids and husband when it’s Ramadan Kareem and discuss how you want them to help you. Don’t expect anything if you have not said anything because men are like this. They need to be directed and told what women want from them. If you have not discussed this yet, you can do that still now.

What I do? I tell my husband that I want this help from you. Let’s say making drink. This is one of the easiest tasks and he happily accepts doing that. Or putting dates on the table or anything that you think he will do.

Tell your husband that you will appreciate little help in taking care of kids or the kitchen and during iftaar. It works well for me, I hope it goes well for you too. We involve our kids too so that is a win win situation. Kids love helping and that results in a great family time.

Be straightforward

Make sure you tell your husband properly what kind of help you need during Ramdan kareem.

Is it grocery shopping? Or cutting the fruits? Or keeping kids busy? Or taking out the trash? 

Men don’t understand unless you tell them clearly. So save your time and energy and theirs too by being straight forward about the chores and help you are expecting.

Don’t be harsh on them

I never tell anybody to overburden your husband. If he is really busy, You should balance it out. Everyone understands their home situation. Our husbands work hard to earn for our families so burdening them beyond their limits is definitely wrong. If your husband has long office hours or gets really tired, you can simply ask him to watch kids while you prepare the iftaar or suhoor.

If your husband comes early and you think he can help, then you can ask for anything as he will have energy to help you.

Nowadays when most of the men are home, they can help in making iftaar or suhoor and anything that you need to do during this Ramadan 2020. Just watch your tone, be polite and I am sure your husband would be there to help you. 

Appreciate and acknowledge the help

We all want appreciation and praise but when it comes to our husbands, we forget to appreciate their efforts. Even if it’s a small thing, say thank you.

Show gratitude not just with your gestures, but with your words too. Words play a huge role so don’t underestimate that. If your husband is even doing a single thing to help you during Ramadan Kareem, appreciate him just like you want appreciation. 

I know everyone has a different relationship with their husbands but these are some practical ways that may help you. I hope you find the results you wanted ?  

Ramadan is a month of blessings and we all should understand that this is the time when we shouldn’t be fighting or quarreling for small stuff. Teach your sons to be helpful and encourage them to support so that when they become husbands, their wives don’t have to teach them. 🙂

JazakAllah khair for reading. Does your husband help you during Ramadan kareem?

If you like the post, please share it ? It will help my blog grow. 

Lots of love, 

Saima Nadeem

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