A question that arises in everyone’s mind after getting married or while planning a baby, How to keep a marriage strong after kids?
Let’s rewind the time for a bit. Do you remember the first time when you fell in love with your potential spouse? Back then, you couldn’t imagine if you can love anyone else more than the person you fell for. They were the center of the universe for you. They could change your entire mood within minutes.
One day, you decide to marry, set home for yourself and your better half and look forward to having a happy married life ahead.
I am sure you must be smiling right now thinking about those beautiful days.
What happens next?
As the old rhyme goes by, ‘First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage’. One of the most beautiful things about marriage, when this happens, your life changes. Amidst revising your priority list and the added responsibilities, sometimes the love you have for your child overpowers the love for your partner. It’s now your baby who makes you feel butterflies through his scent, light touch, and sweet coos.
Although you love your partner immensely, your motherly desire to look after your baby, care for him, and fulfill his needs surpasses everything else that includes your spouse and his needs. But this is justified because after all, a baby and his well-being come first.
Well, it’s not always the case. For a child’s emotional benefit, his parents need to be in a happy place first. Happiness in marriage is acquired by prioritizing your relationship. Fulfilling your baby’s needs doesn’t mean neglecting your relationship and putting your baby first. Both these aspects go hand in hand. Your baby will nurture emotionally when you will take some time out to work on your relationship and strive for keeping a marriage strong after kids.
How To Have a Happy Marriage After Kids?
Let’s jot down some tips for a successful marriage that will help you strengthen your relationship with your spouse after kids.
1. Plan dates together
Take out some time for yourself and your spouse and go on dates. You don’t need to plan a fancy vacation for this. If you can sneak out even for 2 to 3 hours and grab some coffee or have a quick lunch, it will connect you both on a deeper level and let you have some meaningful conversations that are essential for your relationship.
2. Have A Perspective While Dealing With Stress
The first and foremost thing that you experience after having a baby is sleep deprivation. It can be the sole reason for your mood swings, irritability, and crankiness. This can draw you and your spouse away from each other.
In such a situation, you need to adapt to the change in your life. One of the secrets to a great marriage is advancing with a perspective to set things straight and in order. Instead of showing your frustration towards each other, you need to act smarter. Remind yourselves about the transition that your life has gone through after the arrival of your baby.
3. Compliment Your Spouse
You are not two individuals but a team when it comes to raising a baby. It is about looking at yourself in partnership with your spouse and this is what makes a good marriage. It means that you both together have different roles to play and different ways to contribute to your parenting journey. With time, you will learn the unique abilities in your spouse that makes you feel supported and your child loved.
If you ask me about one good advice for a long and happy marriage, it will be complimenting your partner. Learn to appreciate the small deeds done by him. Appreciate when he does something for you or your baby. He might cook something so that you can get time to bath your baby or babysit your baby so you can have some time to yourself.
Complimenting someone does wonders and makes them feel worthy of their existence. If it has been long since you said a thank you, now might be the right time. Leave a small love note or send a text or make a sweet call.
4. Don’t Forget to Cuddle Or Snuggle
Physical bonding is very much important especially when one is going through a stressful schedule. It might not occur to you but a sweet hug or cuddle can wash away all your stress and worries. It makes you realize that before being parents, you are partners in love. What makes a happy marriage is always taking out that special time to bond and feel connected with your partner.
5. Work For Your Mutual Interests
In the course of becoming new parents, we tend to forget doing the things we used to do before the baby’s arrival. To keep the marriage healthy and going, we need to take time out and do things we loved before like watching movies, cooking together, playing board games, exercising, going for a walk, etc.
One of the top keys to a successful marriage involves loving life and living it together with your partner. Don’t lose the mutual interests you have. They tend to add spark to your monotonous life.
6. Find New Interests
I often get asked, How do you keep your marriage fun and lively?
I tell everybody this:
New things always add up to more adventure and enjoyment in life. Shake things up. Find what you love doing that you never did before. Get a bucket list made and try checking one ever 6 months.
7. Give Space to each other
The idea of being blessed with some alone time doesn’t sound boring to anyone.
One important marriage advice that I would like to give to you, learn to provide space to your partner. We all need that escape to recognize ourselves as individuals. Rather than seeing ourselves in the role of a ‘mother’ or a ‘spouse’. Do it every day and everywhere.
By practicing these keys to a successful marriage, you surely are going to keep your marriage strong after kids.
Cheers to being able to have a happy, successful, and strong married life post-baby.